GIVE
Hard Conversations That Lead to Healing
Victor grew up in foster care. He is 24 now, but Jay and his Young Life ONE team in Orange County have known Victor for 8 years, since he was a Sophomore in high school. He has been in a weekly club or campaigners group for most of the time Jay has known him. With exception of the few times he has been placed in a group home out of the county.
A consistent theme for Victor has been poor hygiene. He always smelled poorly, had unwashed hair and nails, and his clothes were rarely clean. On more than one occasion one of his leaders felt led to have loving discussions to try to help, which always ended with him
have loving discussions to try to help, which always ended with him making a pledge to clean up. These conversations happened at natural times, like the first time he expressed interest in a girl, when they were getting him ready for his wedding, at the birth of his daughter, and most recently when he was having a hard time finding a job to support his family. All moments that make you want to be your best self. But nothing seemed to changed.
After years of friendship, Jay needed to have another difficult and loving conversation with Victor about his hygiene. His family was facing homelessness unless he could get a job and pay the bills—cleanliness was what stood between him and employment. In this conversation, he finally shared why he’s always struggled with this.It broke Jay’s heart.
When Victor was a toddler, his foster parents used to wake him up in the middle of the night, put him in a cold shower, and then lock him in a closet. There was no rhyme or reason as to when or why they did it, it was just pure evil. Because of this trauma showering a living nightmare.
After Victor shared this with Jay, Jay got the opportunity to speak into his life and encourage him in his healing. Jay got to tell Victor how proud he was of him for sharing this story and how grateful he was that God had allowed for the years of trust that were necessary for the truth to come out. Just bringing his story to light was a huge step in his healing.
Since that day, Jay has helped find Victor a therapist who specializes in PTSD. They have seen so much progress in his health. This is a victory, but, the story is far from over. Victor and his family did end up having to move into a shelter, however, the Orange County Young Life ONE team were able to help get them in a program that is assisting them in setting up a stable and sustainable life. And OC Young Life ONE has gotten to be with them every step of the way. Because of their support around them, they have been able to keep their daughter as they begin to build again.
